


Eddsworld One Shots

by Undauntedlily



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Birthday, Christmas, Comfort, Fluff, Frankenstein AU, Love, M/M, Memes, Murder, Nightmares, Red Leader, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Valentine's Day, War, spoiled
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-03-19 03:20:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 14,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13695792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Undauntedlily/pseuds/Undauntedlily
Summary: I checked the wiki and it said Tom wasn't into Valentine's too late. Honestly, just suspend your disbelief and go with this one if you want to enjoy it. :)





	1. Tom/Tord: Valentine's Day

**Author's Note:**

> I checked the wiki and it said Tom wasn't into Valentine's too late. Honestly, just suspend your disbelief and go with this one if you want to enjoy it. :)

Tord had never believed in Valentine’s. As a communist trapped in a capitalist world, it was just another display of corporate greed tainting pure love. But when he remembered how Tom looked forlornly at Matt’s Valentine’s surprises in the past when he was single, he knew that he’d sacrifice his disgust for Tom.

So he went all out, as usual, though this involved some, well, kidnapping. Before Tom had even awoken he was on a private jet, dressed to the nines, with Tord by his side as they were being delivered to a sunny resort with a stunning view.

Sure, Tom wasn’t the type who seemed to enjoy the sun, or activities, but the resort was much more than just beauty. It was near a concert for a rock band Tord had seen Tom admire through various posters on the wall. And besides, he wanted to whisk the man away to another place and get away for a night. He wanted this first Valentine’s day to be one that Tom would remember, admire, and hopefully, love as much as Tord loved him.

_ He would do anything for Tom. _

Tom woke up near the end of the flight, and as soon as the smaller stirred he’d captivated Tord’s attention. Or his obsession.

The devil-horned man first offered champagne, to which while Tom was obviously confused, he still took and downed. Tord wrapped an arm around him.

“What the hell is this?” Tom asked.

“Your Valentine’s day gift,” Tord smirked.

“I thought you hated Valentine’s,” Tom yawned, rubbing his eyes.

“I wanted to do this for you anyways,” Tord smiled warmly, leaning over and giving him a kiss.

Beyond that there was less talking, and Tord just held and helped ease Tom into the world of the awake. It was adorable when he was drowsy anyways, but he knew it could turn into annoyance quickly, so he aired on the side of babying him and making his life as easy as possible. He didn’t want the day to start off badly, after all.

The jet landed shortly, with Tord eagerly leading Tom off. The latter was still a bit dazed and out of it, but thankfully Tord had squandered his anger. Instead he just looked confused. Which Tord loved. He was so cute when he looked confused.

Tord lead them away for a stunning breakfast at the resort, a private chef taking their orders before he offered Tom a single blue rose, though the bassist was still unaware of the larger bouquet he would be receiving. It was ridiculous and everything Tord initially hated, but on the other hand, he’d convinced himself that it was bragging rights. Besides, he loved spoiling Tom into submission anyways.

After breakfast was the concert. Tord had blindfolded Tom, who initially had given him a sour look for that, his curiosity tormenting him as Tord lead him to the next location. Tord loved Tom’s curiosity, but that didn’t mean he would sate it just yet. So he lead him to the concert with his air of mystery, leading them to their front-row seats secretly. Just as the people crowded around them and the lights dimmed, Tord uncovered Tom’s eyes, watching the man as he scanned the area.

He would remember the look Tom had when he finally figured it out.

After the concert Tord had scheduled for a meeting with the band. He took the role of the shadows, only asserting his presence by touching Tom. It was his own reassurance that the bassist was his, that he wouldn’t get star stuck because Tord would pull him away. 

Tord listened to their conversations too. Tom talked about his music experiences and told them of how they were an idol to him. In return, they shared their own experiences, and complimented Tom, telling them that they’d have to look at his youtube where he posted his music. 

When they finally left Tord swore Tom was glowing.

The next stop was lunch at a fancy restaurant. It was there that Tord gave Tom a necklace, and though it was more masculine than a traditional one, it meant a lot to Tord. In fact, it was something Tord had wanted to do for awhile. To him, the necklace was more than just a necklace. It was a stamp of himself on Tom, a defensive measure, a symbol that they were tied. And it wasn’t a ring. Not yet. Tom wasn’t ready yet anyways.

So he revelled in the necklace and watching Tom wear it. Of course he had planned it to be appealing to the Englishman, who though he liked simple things, really enjoyed the platinum and brass bass on it. It was studded with moonstone (one of Tom’s birthstones) and Sapphire (Tord’s own). He was quite proud of the creation, having it specially designed and made, and found it to be a fitting, and enticing symbol for their love.

After lunch the next stop was a science museum, which though dorky, was enjoyable for the both of them. As they learned about concepts they’d not had their interest sparked in they could talk about such things, and possible applications and ideas. Tord couldn’t be happier with this part of the day.

It only emphasized another thing Tord loved, which was how smart Tom was. And it was something he was grateful for, too. He loved that he could talk about science with him.

After they tired of the museum and grew hungry again, Tord brought them back to the resort. By that time Tom was itching for a drink, and though Tord didn’t want to submit to Tom’s urge, he gave him another glass of champagne. It was always a gamble with Tom and drinking anyways, and after putting in so much effort for this, he’d rather Tom be content in every way possible. Besides, it was one glass, and Tom hadn’t gotten drunk yet.

The end to their night was something out of a fairy tale. Again, Tord had a private chef take their orders, before he disappeared into a room, coming out first with a ridiculously large bouquet, 100 roses to be exact. 50 were a stunning rose red, and the other 50 were a midnight blue. Tom was stunned. He honestly didn’t know what to do with them. He thanked Tord, asking him where they would put them.

Tord thought about it for a second, then laughed. “One second.” He got out some vases, breaking them up, before going and pinning one to each of their suits. Tom’s was red, and Tord’s was blue. And perhaps Tord couldn’t deny all of this giving was making him sentimental, as well as Tom wearing that necklace.

After the flowers were situated Tord grinned. “Alright, one last present,” he said, disappearing into the room again. Tom raised an eyebrow, watching him, and when Tord came back he was met with a giant stuffed bear.

“Ta da!” Tord beamed, giving it to Tom.

“That is ginormous,” the Englishman said, shocked. He didn’t bother carrying it, just setting it down.

“Well, I figure when I have to stay late you should have something to cuddle.”

Tom blushed a little at that. He had missed Tord, although shyly he almost wished the other wasn’t aware of that.

“Well, thank you,” he said shyly, looking at it with a reserved bit of appreciation. “Thank you, Tord,” he said suddenly, looking to the other with a little smile.

Tord felt his cheeks blossom red, and before he knew it his favorite person was wrapping his arms around his chest. He couldn’t hold back a grin as he held Tom, kissing his head and rubbing his back. “I’m just happy you like it.” He kissed his forehead lovingly.

Tom grinned against his chest. “You thought of everything. Of course I do. I really appreciate it…  you didn’t have to do this though,  you know. I know you hate Valentine’s.”

Tord smiled, kissing his head again. “I wanted to, though, and I wanted you to have a special Valentine’s day. Besides, I’m beginning to like it a little bit.” Afterall, how could he hate something that allowed him to spoil Tom senseless? Or something that allowed him to revel in Tom’s smile?

“I love you,” Tom said softly, looking up at Tord with a smile, and in that moment passion alighted in Tord’s chest as he grinned and pressed their lips together once more.

A few seconds into the kiss, however, they were interrupted by the chef, who had their meals.

Tord grumbled a little bit, almost ready to send them away, before Tom pulled him out of his anger with a teasing laugh, thanking the chef.

The chef gratefully served their meals, glad to be comforted at least in part by Tom.

And even though Tom may have undermined his annoyance, Tord loved that he kept him in check.

The evening continued with them eating, having champagne, and talking. Tord couldn’t deny it was romantic, and he lived for the connection he felt between them, and how that seemed to strengthen.

After they finally grew weary of the view and the dinner scene, they finally headed to the bedroom for the last part of the night. They shared in one more act of intimacy, one of their favorites, before they both fell asleep, Tord securely holding Tom in his arms.

Tord loved this man with all his heart.


	2. Tom/Tord: Nightmares

“Tord?” Tom asked, bags under his eyes but his head was moving as he searched the room nervously.

“Yes, Thomas?” The Norwegian asked, petting the bassist’s hair. He was hardly awake, but Tom’s stirring had done it. He didn’t mind, though. He wanted to be here for the other. He wanted to be the thing to soothe Tom in his times of trouble. And maybe he wanted the other to become dependent upon him too.

Tom sighed with relief, feeling his boyfriend’s chest beneath him, locating the soothing heartbeat once more. He was still here. He sighed, resting his head on Tord’s chest as he listened to its gentle thudding.

“You okay?” Tord asked softly, continuing his ministrations as he felt Tom’s head rest on his chest. It’d been a common re-occurance, but he didn’t mind. He could tell at least that Tom was there.

“I just had a nightmare,” Tom mumbled softly, starting to fall asleep again.

“I see,” Tord said softly, feeling the other lean further into him. He wrapped his arms around Tom, taking a breath. “Well I’m here. I’ll always be here to protect you,” he murmured softly.

Tom smiled shallowly, nodding. His head was beyond full comprehension, but if Tord was protecting him, no matter the implications, he was safe. Safe… and tired... 

Tord smiled himself as he felt Tom sink back into a more peaceful slumber. He would always be there for Tom.


	3. Tomtord Poem: The Void Tord Loves

Tord was in love with the void.

He didn't understand why, or how, but he knew he was.

Afterall, Tom was the physical embodiment of it.

He was sunken deep down into a depression that only left him with nothingness, he dug holes in his life that he knew would hinder him, but it didn't matter when he didn't care and drank himself dumb. He was a void. Devoid of meaning.

In fact to further exacerbate the extent of which the universe emphasized Tom's void status, he had voids for eyes, black holes that were endless.

But Tord loved it. He loved them. He loved Tom. And even if he could never fill the void within him he would stay by his side.


	4. EddMatt: "People are jerks, but not you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://sentence-fragments.tumblr.com/post/128655641230/101-fluffy-prompts  
> Prompt: 026: "People are jerks, but not you."  
> Just a short little bit of writing. Some fluff for our souls :)

"People are jerks, but not you,” Edd said softly. Matt was laid in his lap, napping off a stressful night. Edd cursed the producer who’d made him stressed. He didn’t deserve any of it. Or, just maybe, Edd was so attached that he didn’t care if that was how the world worked. Either way, he wanted Matt to have better.

Matt yawned, nuzzling into Edd’s legs a little more. He looked so innocent when he slept, so cute. And Matt was innocent, and in Edd’s opinion, cute. He wished he could protect him better, shelter him so that he didn’t have to face the cruelty of others. Matt was above that, and the world should treat him like such.

But people were jerks. 

Edd sighed, leaning back further into the couch as he pet Matt’s head. He loved this man so much. He stayed like that for awhile, switching between gazing at the ceiling and Matt before he eventually nodded off.

Matt woke up, still as comfortable as he had started in Edd’s lap. He looked up at his sweet face, and bit back a giggle at one of the snores. He sat up carefully, kissing Edd’s cheek. 

“People are jerks, but not you,” he whispered in his ear unprompted, gently giving his cheek a kiss again.


	5. Tomtord (short): "I wasn't supposed to get attached."

"I wasn't supposed to get attached,” Tord murmured to himself, staring at the man resting in his lap. He shook his head, a little smile on his face. “Maybe you’re the devil, sucking me into your world.”

Tom yawned, nuzzling further into Tord’s legs.

The Norwegian’s cheeks grew warm. “Or maybe not…” He stared at Tom, looking around the room as his cheeks warmed up. “I love you,” he confessed in pure secrecy.


	6. TomTord: Birthday Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like my writing was a bit off today, so if it's not the usual high-quality work you're expecting, I apologize. I wanted to post this anyways, though.
> 
> By the way, the shirt is: https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/28660953_539323463135976_2939072502752155132_n.png?oh=5b733b45fde654fc39ae206c3134fa0d&oe=5B0B615C
> 
> For those who want to buy it: https://www.moteefe.com/specific-lads-hip-hop-commies

It was Tord’s birthday and Tom was ecstatic to share his surprise. 

Okay, he’d be honest. It was not an elaborate, caring, sentimental gift he was giving. It was not something lavish or sweet. It was a meme. On a shirt. And if Tord actually wore it Tom would cry laughing. It was perfect. 

Tord seemed to enjoy Tom’s memes anyways, even if it was in the half smile and eye roll sort of way, and Tom loved spamming them. So when Tom saw the shirt online he hadn’t even hesitated before ordering it. Honestly, he was just waiting for the time to gift it. 

When Tord came home he found Edd and Matt, as well as his boyfriend at his house. He’d found a cake, and wrapped presents, and a mischievous looking Tom. So he was expecting some Tomfoolery surrounding his birthday, such as a vodka cake.

Throughout the night Tom just grew more and more eager for present time, and once the time came he insisted that Tord open Matt’s and Edd’s presents first. The Norweigan was confused at how Tom didn’t want his own to be opened first, but he obliged, getting some things he actually could use.

Then, he got to Tom’s gift. It was wrapped well, which was surprising given Tom’s past wrapping endeavors, but Tord just gave him an amused smirk before he opened it up. He pulled out the shirt, unfolding it so he could inspect it, before he burst into laughter.   
“Tom you shit!” He laughed, immediately putting it on before going to give Tom a hug, which quickly turned into a noogie. 

The Englishman, as promised, laughed so hard he cried, weakly trying to bat Tord’s hands away as he grinned wide.

And even though the gift was a shitty meme, it was Tord’s favorite that night.


	7. Tomtord: Christmas Present (sequel to Birthday Present)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a sequel to the previous chapter.  
> Here's the image of the shirt: https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22279599_465204400547883_4503069546587307770_n.jpg?oh=c1c439261150d297f67a5bbdde40c784&oe=5B07DD8C
> 
> And if you want to buy it:  
> https://www.moteefe.com/specific-lads-the-void

It was Christmas, and although Tom hated this holiday, Tord had a gift for him.

Given his last present, Tord immediately had scoured the internet for a return gift, and he found the perfect one within a few days. It was a bit more sentimental, although Tord was a bit more sentimental when it came to Tom anyways. So he got it, and had been looking for when to give it to him, but Christmas was the quickest opportunity for an excuse to give it to him, and Tord just couldn’t wait any longer.

To soften the blow, Tord also invested in a large bottle of Smirnoff, which he wrapped the shirt around when he wrapped it. And then he waited for Tom to get home. 

This, unfortunately, took awhile as one of Tom’s other protests against Christmas came through working through it. However, because the wait was so long, Tord was ready as soon as Tom walked through the door, and immediately turned around to greet him with a grin. And his present.

“Hey there, Tom,” Tord went over, pulling the smaller in a tight hug.

Tom raised an eyebrow, looking at Tord. “Hey,” he said awkwardly, though he smiled at the gesture, giving Tord a little hug in return

“I got you something,” Tord said.

Tom immediately shoved Tord off of him, glaring. “Fuck you!”

Was it strange to say that that was almost to be expected? “Here me out, there’s alcohol in here,” Tord said.

“I can’t believe you got me a Christmas present,” Tom glared still.

“Okay, think of it not as a Christmas present, but as a solstice present?” Tord tried.

“The winter solstice was two days ago.”

“Sorry, I’m late,” Tord shrugged.

Tom grumbled as he struggled with the moral decision to take it or not. “It’s not a Christmas present,” He confirmed after a good few minutes of grappling with the decision.

“Correct,” Tord replied, offering it.

Tom sighed. “Fine, but you chose a bad day,” he criticized, before taking it.

Tord smirked as he grabbed it anyways. “I’m aware now,” he conceded.

Tom rolled his eyes, before working on unwrapping the present. Once he got the paper off he grabbed the shirt, quickly unravelling it. He looked at it for a second, before he burst into laughter.

Tord grinned as soon as Tom laughed.

“You sap!” Tom said, immediately putting it on. He grinned, going over and pulling Tord into a quick kiss, before he pulled away teasingly and grabbed his vodka. “Thank you,” he said, still grinning.

“Anything for you,” Tord playfully bowed, though he meant it, but that wasn’t the important thing right now. The important thing was Tom and that he liked the gift and that he was laughing and smiling.

That night Tord kept that grin with him, dreaming of a happy Tom laughing with him. It was a good dream.


	8. Tom and Tord: Frankenstein AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading Frankenstein and getting attached to the monster so here's my little version with Tom and Tord. Idk, not really shippy at all, but I just had the urge to make this.

Tord took a deep breath as he stared at the husk of a being in front of him. Before him laid the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, created solely for his eyes, for his pleasure, and for his ego. He would achieve glories unbeknownst to mankind, pioneer new ways of living, of resuscitation, of medicine, and he would create life. For his labors, which had taken months of devoted work, tonight he would be rewarded.

Taking a breath, he calmed his mind, attempting to rid himself of the anxiety that comes with being on the verge of both tremendous success and potentially great failure. Once he had collected himself, he finished the procedure, bestowing life upon the creature who seemed to grow only more wretched with each breath that it took. 

Its eyes shot open, or at least the sockets did, as he’d intentionally made the creature blind. Afterall, being as it was so large compared to him, he felt as though it needed a sort of handicap, a way for Tord to have easy control over him. He was grateful for it now. 

The creature breathed heavily, turning its head as it sat up, looking to be the poster child of confusion. It babbled an incoherent string of consonants, as Tord’s heart raced, searching the being for any sign of ill intent.

But the creature was like a child, innocent of all bad as it couldn’t know right from wrong. Tord stayed in the room, watching it silently for a while as he mustered up the courage. Eventually, he spoke. “Your name is Tom,” he said.

The creature instinctively looked towards the voice, babbling a bit more as he innocently tried to stumble over. He tripped, falling and skinning his knee, and produced a sound so loud and anguished that Tord couldn’t help but be startled.  
He stared at the being for a moment, as it sniffled, tears beginning to fall out of his eye sockets. He seemed to have no control to hold them back as he curled up, holding his knee and babbling more.

Tord took a breath, taking pity on the being. He got up, going to get a first aid kit. He’d kept one around since the work he had done was difficult and dangerous, and oftentimes he’d sustained cuts. He drew close to Tom with it, his heart thudding in his chest, but as soon as Tord crouched beside him and simply touched Tom’s knee, the being flinched.

“Shhh, kjære,” Tord said, not even thinking of the words as they rushed from his mouth. He pet his leg, attempting to soothe him.

Tom sniffled, making a little sobbing sound. He laid against the ground, though he kept his leg propped up, his leg almost shivering with touch.

Tord continued to shush him, trying to soothe him as he dressed his wound. Tom cried out as Tord used the antiseptic and shot up like a rocket, which startled Tord, but the being seemed merely surprised by more pain. 

That didn’t mean Tord flinched, but he had to keep in mind that the being was like a child. He had to keep that in mind because if he didn’t, the being won. He wanted to be the one in control here. He  _ had _ to be the one in control. If he wasn’t, the creature posed a fatal risk, even if its intentions were pure, for he had given the fickleness of a child the strength of a giant.

Tord finished caring for the wound, giving it a little rub. The creature looked through him innocently, babbling. He leaned against his leg, though not where it had been scraped, and stared at Tord, and smiled.

Tord looked back, surprised by the gesture. He hesitantly pet Tom’s head. “Good work, kjære,” he said softly, entranced by his own creation, and surprised by the innocence it held. As he stared at the creature, he gained a sort of connection with it, in which he felt indebted to protect it. Vowing to do so, Tord stayed, eventually helping the creature lay down and get comfortable as it acquired a need for sleep. 

Once the being was settled for its rest Tord got up, gently patting its shoulder. “Good night, Tom,” he said softly, locking it in before retiring to his own room. He dreamt of vivid adventures he would have with Tom, and of the creature helping him in his scientific endeavors. He dreamt of hiding Tom, and he dreamt of protecting Tom. He woke up as soon as his dream-self had fled with Tom from a village he’d been discovered in.

But even if those were to be their future, Tord wasn’t unsettled. He was determined, especially with regards to making something of his creature. This was when a new chapter of his life began, which gave it purpose beyond compare.


	9. Paultryck: Soulmate dissolution prosecution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red leader time!  
> By the way, Virgil and Feliks are some of my boyfriend's red army ocs. Virgil is a doctor, and Feliks is just a regular fighter. They're kinda gay together, but it doesn't really come up much here.   
> Don't read if you don't like murder and you don't like a sadistic asshole leader.  
> Other than that, if you're all clear, enjoy!

Patryck stared in horror as his boyfriend- no, his soulmate, slumped to the ground. His gun was smoking, and it was the only thing that kept him from complete denial of what happened. 

Tord smirked.  _ Good. _ He’d  made an example of a traitor, and he knew Patryck wouldn’t forget the lesson. That being said, his sadistic streak was thirsty for more, and he figured Paul’s debt hadn’t fully been paid.

“Now clean it up,” Patryck heard his commander’s words as he stared at his soulmate, lost. But Tord’s tone was harsh, and years of training had beaten it into him to pay attention to his words, especially his commands.

He was shocked at how his body just obeyed. He felt like he was in another world, nothing felt real. Paul- he was  _ his _ , but now he was dead and he didn’t understand how. He didn’t understand the blood he mopped up from the floor, the shot in the head from Patryck’s gun.

_ He didn’t understand how he could kill his lover _ . 

_ He should’ve died with Paul. _

Tord watched Patryck sop up the blood, but his pace was slow and lethargic as the man pieced his world back together. Tord didn’t care.

“Raskere,” he commanded harshly.

Patryck jumped, confused, but he knew that he had to hurry up. That if he didn’t there would be consequences. That if he didn’t his brains would be splattered on the floor. And though his mind was confused and indecisive, his body didn’t want to die. So he sped up.

Tord smirked, watching Patryck wipe up the floor. He knew it’d have to be redone. He should’ve removed the body first, but a part of him wanted Patryck to deal with this even longer, so he let it go.

“Feliks, follow him,” Tord said as Patryck picked up the body. He held it gently, bridal style, as though it could still feel, or as though it were fragile.

Feliks nodded, following Patryck out the door as he went to dispose of his lover. His eyes were far away, and he walked through the hallways like it was nothing. Feliks wasn’t surprised that people stared. Nobody expected Paul to be gone. He was Tord’s second right hand man, next to Patryck, and they were well loved and respected. 

But now, now he wasn’t. Whispers began spreading throughout the house, and as Feliks went to reprimand them, to tell them to go back to work, his pager said otherwise with Tord’s voice telling him to let them talk.

Feliks almost forgot Tord could watch them at all time.

He supposed that only spoke more to Paul’s betrayal.

The body was dumped, and Patryck began heading inside towards his room, still stuck in that daze, but Feliks’ pager went off.

“You haven’t finished your job, Patryck,” Tord taunted.

Feliks swore Patryck almost looked confused. He was on a sort of autopilot as his brain tried to grapple with what was most important to  _ him _ . 

But Tord’s priorities did not align.

“Feliks,” he said, and Feliks immediately took Patryck’s arms behind his back as Feliks escorted him back. Pity rose in his chest as he realized Patryck didn’t even attempt to fight back, just blindly submitting.

With a short shove back into Tord’s office, Patryck arrived. 

Tord raised an eyebrow, motioning to the mess of blood and brains that was left, little pieces that Patryck hadn’t seen as they’d been covered by Paul’s body.

“Finish the job,” Tord said coldly.

It took a whole two days before Patryck could understand much more than orders. Virgil had been put on the case, and though everyone, spare Feliks, usually found him grating, Patryck didn’t respond to him. At Tord’s questioning, Virgil explained to Tord that it was likely a case of dissociation due to grief, and that Patryck was in such a heavy state of denial that he wasn’t processing the world. 

Tord asked how to speed that up, uncaring that he was the cause of the pain. Patryck, if he could be deemed as loyal, would still be his right hand man. Ideally, he’d been kicked down into enough submission that he realized Tord could take everything from him and would blindly follow. It was worth a shot. Even though Patryck was not quite as smart as Paul, he was a valuable asset to Tord, and though the leader had lost all sentimentality for Paul, he still had some for Patryck.

Virgil told him that it couldn’t really be sped up, spare trying to physically drive him out of his mind. And even if they had managed to succeed, Patryck would still be virtually useless, or perhaps even angry and bitter. In general, he told Tord that Patryck would probably be out of commission for months as he tried to recover, and the best course of action was to give him his own time.

Tord was entirely dissatisfied with that answer. He told Virgil if he didn’t figure it out in a month he’d have both of their heads.

Virgil didn’t sleep that night.

Within a week, once Patryck had had enough time to become coherent, he escaped.

For Virgil’s insolence, that day was his last.


	10. Paultryck: Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This can be read as a continuation from the previous chapter or not.

Patryck sat up, startled. His breath was quick as he searched beside him for his beloved, though that only took a second for Patryck to notice he was right beside him.

By that time, though, Paul had stirred at the patting, unintentionally glaring at Patryck as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.

Patryck immediately panicked when he saw Paul wake up. “Shh,” He whispered. “Go back to bed, it’s okay,” he continued, petting Paul’s hair gently. His voice gave him away as it trembled, however, and though Paul was tired out of his wits, he rubbed at his eyes and sat up.

“Patryck?” He asked, transforming from a harsh glare to a teddy bear. 

Patryck melted a little bit. “Yeah?” He asked softly.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice a bit husky from the sleep. 

Patryck looked at him, the memories flashing back to him. Tears welled up in his eyes as the scene played out again, forced to shoot his own lover. Forced to kill him. Forced to clean up the body. A shiver possessed his whole body.

Paul took Patryck’s hand, his eyes burning into the other’s. “What’s wrong?” He repeated, dead serious. 

Patryck sniffled, taking his hand back to wipe his eyes. “I-I had a nightmare?”

“About what?”

“About having to kill you?”

“Really?” Why?” Paul asked, frowning.

Patryck sniffled. “B-Because you betrayed T-Tord and he made me shoot you!” Patryck began to cry, a pitiful whimper escaping his throat.

“Oh, honey,” Paul melted, pulling Patryck against him as he protectively pet his head. He kissed it. “That won’t ever happen. I swear.” He held him, rocking him.

“P-Promise me you won’t betray Tord- or-or put us in that situation!” Patryck cried harder.

“I promise, love, I promise,” Paul peppered his face in kisses and rubbed his back to calm him down. He was only satisfied once Patryck slumped against him once more in slumber.. He loved him so much. He wished he could do more, but he supposed Patryck seemed peaceful laid up against him like this anyways. He hoped that was enough. Or what he was doing was enough. 

But perhaps most of all he meant his promise, no matter how strange it seemed at the time. Patryck was serious, and he wouldn’t cross Tord if it made him upset. He loved him too much.

 


	11. Tomtord: Neighbor AU! Songfic: Whatever it Takes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4f4QBfUDeI
> 
> Also this is a Neighbor AU with abusive parents mentioned and stuff as well as suicidal thoughts.

Tord stared over at the closed and covered window. Tom was behind it, probably in bed. Some nights he’d join Tord, and other’s he’d be too worn from the day’s activities or his own mind weighing down upon him.

Whichever one it was, Tord missed him, though. He was quickly growing attached to Tom- no, he quickly  _ grew _ attached to Tom. And it was the only thing that really grounded Tord to this world, that made it so he couldn’t leave. After all, what was the point of beating the odds and spiting your parents by turning out as a CEO or something if there was no one to share it with?

He was lucky, in a sense, that he’d met Tom shortly after he realized that. Because if he hadn’t he’d surely have dipped out by now. 

Tord sighed, picking at the old windowsill, which only aggravated the already breaking wood, creating more splinters. He didn’t care, there were more important things on his mind. 

He took a breath.  _ Whatever it took, he would become Tom’s, and Tom would become his.  _ He smirked a little bit, looking at the moon as he created his plan to make Tom fall with it.

* * *

 

The first part of his plan involved running. More specifically, running from his house. He didn’t care though. The worst that could happen would be harsh beatings, but he’d felt them before. Besides, he craved the adrenaline that came from running away with Tom. It made him feel alive, and like they both were against the world, together.

For now it didn’t matter if Tom felt the same, it was enough that he was by his side.

Once they got to the nearest 7-11 Tord bought them both ICEE’s, telling Tom to get whatever. Tom didn’t get anything else. He didn’t know Tord well enough, and he already felt guilty about the ICEE. Tord didn’t mind it, just passing Tom his ICEE as they walked out.

“Where are we going now?” Tom asked

“The forest?” Tord proposed.

Tom nodded.

* * *

 

The second part involved a lot of getting to know Tom. That was fine. He wanted to anyway. So he made sure he listened, really listened, to Tom.

And in doing so he learned what made him tick. He hoarded each morsel of information desperately. He wanted to know it all. He wanted to study Tom, and learn each little thing he could do to make his life better.

Tord wanted Tom to be happy. Or at least as close as he could get. From the way Tom acted and talked it seemed like happiness was a real struggle with him. Tord couldn’t forget the way Tom would talk, when he would get into something about his feelings or an emotional subject, and just abruptly stop to grab a flask. He would drown himself in drink, desperate for some sort of normalcy, or for the pain to stop.

And it broke Tord’s heart. 

He continued plotting part three, continuing to escape with Tom into the nights. He could never leave Tom anyway.

* * *

 

The third part had been a secret, or at least the full extent of it was. Perhaps if Tom was closely watching Tord (though the latter didn’t count on or even expect that, not that he minded), he would have noticed the man bulk up under his baggy red hoodie. But that wasn’t all. Tord had also gotten a gun and learned how to shoot it, along with managing a knife. 

So once Tord had convinced Tom to leave with him, he was ready. When his father pulled a gun, threatening to shoot, Tord had taken the bullets and pocketed them, threatening his father back with his own gun.

Tom was freaking out. That was fine. Tord still held him close. It would be fine. It would be fine in just a moment. He didn’t want Tom to worry, but it would just be a moment. Once they escaped it would be okay. But right now Tord had to protect them.

His heart rushed as he opened the door for Tom, practically shoving him in once his dad had gone in to get more ammo. Tord quickly followed, getting in the driver’s side and flooring it.

* * *

 

Despite the odds, he had done whatever it took for Tom, and would continue to do that for Tom. And now that he had the love of his life by his side, he would become a CEO. He would spite his parents. And he would conquer the world with Tom at his side.


	12. Crushes but no ships: Edd/Matt, Tom/Tord- Superpowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is again inspired by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4f4QBfUDeI   
> Particularly the line "I want to be invisible."  
> Just a little drabble

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” Edd asked, a question in passing, created from boredom, as he laid on the ground, staring at the ceiling. He was surrounded with his friends, and his crush, something which made him content.

“Any superpower?” Matt asked, thinking about it. “Mmm…”

Tord chuckled. “You don’t know yours, Matt?” He teased.

“No,” Matt stuck out his tongue. “I’m not as nerdy as you, Tord.”

Edd chuckled at that, a little amused grin taking his face. “So?”

“Well, I would want the ability to become invincible for awhile,” Tord said easily, his mind full with combat scenarios and power.

Edd snorted. “Invincibility? Really?” He asked judgmentally.

“Hey, at least I’d have more power than you guys,” Tord said defensively.

“What if they put you in jail or a cement room, huh?” Edd challenged.

Tord sneered. “I’d break out of there eventually. It’d be a matter of time.”

Edd just scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What about you, Matt?” He asked, softening as he looked at his ginger-haired best friend.

“Mm,” Matt hummed. “I think… the ability to skip out on my morning routine and still look as amazing as I do when I do it!” 

Tord immediately facepalmed, and Tom laughed at that. Matt’s cheeks flushed, painting his face red. 

Edd chuckled softly. “Well you do spend a lot of time on your looks,” he said, providing a justification for Matt.

Matt nodded defensively. “Exactly!” He said. “Looks are important! And if I could save time on them and still look awesome that would be so nice!”

Edd smiled a bit at that, his heart warming. Matt was just adorable. He leaned over, patting Matt’s knee.

“What about you, Edd?” Tom asked finally.

“Me?” Edd asked. “Probably to be able to fly. Just think of how fast I could get around! And the view, too!” Besides, it would be so cool to pull a Superman move and show Matt the sky. Just overall, the power would be great.

“Ah,” Tom nodded. “Fair enough,” he said. Flying wasn’t that original, honestly, but neither was his, so he couldn’t judge.

“What about yours, Thomas?” Tord asked, and Tom would’ve rolled his eyes at the use of his full name. Pretentious bastard. 

“Invisibility,” he said simply. 

“Oh yeah?” Tord challenged. “Why?” He pried. He genuinely wanted to know. Besides, to him, anything to know more about Tom was worthwhile.

Tom felt a little awkward. “Because then I could just watch,” he confessed.

“Watch?” Edd asked. “You aren’t gonna try and steal stuff or break into places?”

“Well, maybe,” Tom admitted. But those would be for things like food, or alcohol, or a place to stay, or the bathroom. The necessities. Other than that, however, he just wanted to watch the world pass him by. He didn’t feel the urge to contribute; he wanted to be free of the bonds society had put upon him, forcing him into struggling at work or making himself appropriate for the planet. He wanted to live freely, without expectations. He wanted to disappear and see what would happen.

“Interesting,” Tord said, glancing over at Tom with a calculated look as he took a mental note. “Don’t hear that reason every day.”

Tom just shrugged. “I guess,” he acknowledged, but fidgeted to change the subject. “If you guys could commit one crime, what would it be?” He asked, wanting to divert the attention from him.

Tord stared at him, secretly pleased he’d asked another question. It seemed like he’d learn a lot about Tom tonight. 


	13. Tomtord: Invisibility sequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this is just for Digital_Night_Sky, but I hope you guys enjoy!

Tord gazed over to Tom. Edd and Matt had fallen asleep on the floor, cuddled up together, and so they were safe.

“Tom,” Tord finally addressed, but it was soft. He didn’t want to startle the other. It was late at night, and so normal talking levels were abrasive.

“Mmhm?” The Englishman asked. His eyes, or lack of them, were droopy, and though Tom looked to be the poster child of exhaustion, Tord couldn’t help but find it cute somehow.

“Do you really want to be invisible?” He asked, managing to lock eyes with the black holes.

Tom yawned, nodding. “Mmhm,” he said simply, too tired to bother to protect the information.

“How come?” Tord asked, leaning in a little to listen.

Tom rubbed his hair, thinking about it sleepily. “I-I’ve always just wanted to sit back and watch the world. Everybody expects me to do stuff, but I never want to and I never feel capable. I’d rather just observe. I don’t want to be a part in it,” he murmured,  his voice quiet. He rubbed at his eyes futilely. 

“Mm,” Tord hummed. He couldn’t quite relate. He’d always wanted to seize the world, control it so it couldn’t backstab him. But, this was Tom. And he and Tom were different. And for someone like Tom he supposed it kinda made sense. “How-” he began a second question, but Tom was slumped against the couch, his eyes closed. His breathing was turning heavy ad slow, and Tord couldn’t bring himself to interrupt him. 

Once the Englishman dozed off he laid back, pulling Tom on top of him. He pet Tom’s hair gently, affectionately. “I promise someday I’ll take care of you,” Tord vowed, continuing to hold Tom in his arms. Within the next thirty minutes, he too, had dozed off.


	14. Tomtord: Partners in Crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A songfic for Digital_Night_Sky based on this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paWaxEqUPp0

Tom sometimes couldn’t believe he was here. It was so surreal, yet addicting. He watched the Norwegian shout obscenities into the face of the bank broker, the poor girl crying. After years of this, though, he’d been hardened to it. He tore his eyes from the scene, letting Tord do what he did best as he watched the other man’s back.

But this time the eyes in front would’ve helped. The bank managers looked at each other, and began to move. Tord made a yell to alarm Tom, which did the job, but it was too late. Even with Tord shooting one down, another managed to hit an alarm button, and the third pulled out a gun. 

Tom stiffened, shooting the one with the gun, or at least he tried. His nerves caused him to miss, and before Tom could shoot again Tord had grabbed the bag of money the young broker had prepared, wheeling Tom around and tugging him away.

“We have to go, now,” Tord said, running with Tom around the corner, but the man with the gun had other plans.

Plans that Tom had been pulled by stopping from the man who just spat blood onto the bank floor. Tom’s own blood ran cold as he looked to his partner in crime who was quickly sinking to the ground, the hole in his stomach dripping intestines. Tom froze to the scene, watching helplessly as Tord’s knees buckled and he hit the floor, a look of pained, desperate focus on his face. He looked at Tom desperately. “Run,” he croaked, his face growing pale.

Tears welled up on Tom’s face as he stared at the man who had built him up from a pit of despair. “I can’t leave you,” he confessed immediately, dropping beside Tord as he held him in his lap. He saw people approach. “Stay away!” He grabbed Tord’s gun, threatening them to back up. He didn’t account though for the man who had already changed his fate, and for that he earned a bullet in the brain, falling back.

Tord heard the bullet pass, and he felt Tom fall back. He gripped the man, tears starting to escape. There was the one man he cared about,his partner in crime,  gone. But he was gone too. They’d be gone together. He gently took Tom’s hand, kissing it. “I love you,” he rasped, squeezing the hand, though it was gentle. Those were his last few moments, holding the hand of the man he loved, laid atop his corpse, too weak to move. And, for all intents and purposes, he’d reckon Tom and he got his wish of being taken together.

When he awoke again he was in Tom’s arms. The man looked different, less lifelike for sure, not that Tom held any strong sense of vitality ever. But Tord didn’t mind this. He immediately wrapped Tom in his arms, tears escaping as he squeezed his true love. 

“Stay with me,” he begged softly.

He didn’t need to, though. Tom hadn’t considered leaving for a second. “Forever,” Tom promised. The afterlife would provide them all the time they could wish for.


	15. Tomtord: Songfic: Everybody Gets High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may do a sequel (or more) to this, but it's inspired off of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gth9_eyNAKU

When Tord first met Tom, the man was in shambles. It was honestly terrifying how broken he was. How broken someone so young could get. And it outraged Tord.

The man downed Smirnoff like it was water, popped Vicodin like they were tic tacs, and outsmoked even Tord on a daily basis.

His life was just… drugs. Drugs and trying to cover the pain of isolation and bullying and just the natural sludge of a life Tom was born into.

And when he looked at Tom he had to make a decision whether or not to stay and help him or abandon him and be free of the struggle.

But Tord didn’t mind risk and struggle if the reward was good, and there was something in Tom that told him the reward would be good. So he set upon his mission, the only person who had tried to befriend Tom in years.

It started at the gas station. Tord was buying a pack of smokes, and had been rehearsing his bit for an hour, playing Tom in his head.

“Hey, Tom, right?” He smiled charismatically.

His peer just looked at him with a deadpan. “No,” he said simply, despite his nametag, just ringing Tord up.

Tord just stared for a second, his mind malfunctioning. He didn’t account for that answer. “Um, but it says it on your nametag,” he said lamely, surrendering to the awkwardness of his failure.

Tom paused, pulling his shirt away from him and looking at his name tag. He opened his mouth in fake shock. “Oh really! How pesky! The name keeps changing on me!” He said sarcastically. He looked at Tord with a victorious look, and even though the smirk was mean-spirited, Tord couldn’t look away. 

He’d let Tom keep his victory.

“Then what’s your name?” Tord challenged, raising an eyebrow playfully.

“Thompson,” Tom smirked.

Tord laughed. “Alright then, Thompson,” he grinned, his confidence coming back, making Tom close in on himself again. Tord couldn’t do anything about that, though. “I was going to offer you to come hang with some friends and I,” Tord gave him a winning smile.

Tom looked at him with a combination of the attitudes of one who had just heard from Tord that their ancestors were all ants and one who had just had their entire family and life mocked by Tord. He scoffed. Was this guy crazy? “I’m good,” he said simply.

Tord tried to ignore how bad of a sign that face was. “C’mon, man, I need someone on my team for a drinking contest. It’ll be on me, promise.”

Tom pursed his lips in thought as he weighed the risk of another sorrow in the form of a trick or being bullied against the gain of a night’s worth of alcohol. No, a night’s worth of a  _ drinking game’s _ alcohol. “Who’re your friends?” He asked finally.

“Edd Gibson and Matt Hadaway,” Tord said honestly, watching how Tom pursed his lips at the first and cringed at the latter.

“I’ll pass,” Tom said finally. Having Matt there would for sure be the stake in his throat.

Tord pursed his lips. “Alright then, what if it’s just me and you?” He said.

Tom looked at him, furrowing his brow. What the fuck? Why was this kid interested in him? “I’m not interested in a fake friend motivated by pity,” Tom said finally.

Holy shit. Tord stared at him, raising his eyebrows. Way to cut straight to the bone with that one. “C’mon,  _ Thompson,” _ Tord said, and Tom regretted giving him his full name, “it’ll be free booze at the cost of one night with me. Nobody else needs to come.”

Tom hesitated. Sounded an awful lot like prostitution, he couldn’t lie. But was he really against that? “As much as I can drink?” He confirmed, figuring he’d just bring pepper spray if Tord tried to touch him some way.

Tord would have to prepare his wallet. “As much as you can drink. Just give me a chance. You’re interesting.” 

Tom looked at him. Well that was an explanation. “Interesting how?” He slowly began bagging the order.

“You’re a mystery,” Tord gave him a little smile.

Tom just stared at him. That did explain more, and he had a weapon. “Fine,” he said hesitantly. He’d give a person one more shot. One last bit of trust for the rest of the year, maybe two, maybe more. 

He’d let Tord be the man he put trust in.

And Tord couldn’t be happier that he did.

 


	16. Paultryck: Sweater Weather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a request for Digital_Night_Sky and it's inspired by the song "Sweater Weather".

At sixteen they were too young for the atrocities of the battlefield.

But at sixteen they were fighting for what they believed in, something many people their age could not brag about.

And besides, they made that choice willingly, even eagerly. 

The army pretended they didn’t know their true age, and the kids filled out that they were eighteen on everything to be sent out to war.

But at sixteen, Paul was beginning to understand a few things about love, and at sixteen his battle-buddy, Patryck, drew his heart in and provided a comfort he had missed for a long time. So at sixteen, Paul started sharing cigarettes and sharing space and sharing food and sharing time. He practically shared everything he had to give with the man, in exchange for the comfort and the warmth of his new crush.

And at sixteen, Patryck was starting to understand that maybe this commitment was something larger than he thought. But, on the other hand, Patryck knew he wanted to keep Paul close to him. He knew he needed Paul in his life. So he didn’t regret the army. He just regretted how many years they were signed on.

He tried to think about it positively. After this shit was all over, once Paul was his and only his and they could leave this Hell-hole, they’d have more money to make their new life. So right now they’d just have to get through it.

_ At least he’d get to get through it together with Paul. _

Honestly, Paul was what kept him here, kept him working hard. Sure, he believed in this cause, but he not only believed, but he  _ craved _ a future with Paul. It was a reason to stay sane, to push through, to hold on… Afterall, he had to hold onto Paul.

And at sixteen they both wanted to protect the other. Perhaps this was why they persevered so well, why they survived. Neither wanted to let the other get hurt. Neither would hesitate to do anything in their power to prevent the other from getting hurt. 

And that applied to off the battlefield too.

“Give me your hands,” Patryck said, his sweater sleeves covering his own.

“My hands?” Paul asked softly, furrowing his brow as he looked at Paul, his cheeks warm from Patryck’s request and rosy from the cold weather.

“Mmhm,” Patryck nodded, smiling at Paul.

Paul hesitantly offered them, his heart pounding in his chest.

Patryck took them in his sweater sleeves, holding Paul’s hands. “Your hands are starting to get red, it’s too cold out here for you not to be wearing gloves,” Patryck explained, half-scolding him as he held them, squeezing them as he tried to restore their warmth.

Paul smiled shyly, looking at their hands. He squeezed Patryck’s hands gently. “Thanks,” he said.

Patryck blushed. “Of course, let’s just go inside,” he muttered.

Paul nodded, following Patryck’s lead as he brought them into the warmth. They sat close together, still holding hands.

“I want to build a life with you,” Patryck said softly, finally admitting his fantasies to the one they were reliant upon.

Paul’s heart thudded to the melody of a first, and impressively, final love. “I’d like that,” he replied, leaning against Patryck.

They let the air go quiet, the pair pressed against eachother as they warmed up, just happy to be near one another.


	17. TomTord: Addiction and Failure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request from Digital_Night_Sky

It had began as something that was supposed to be good for the both of them, to challenge the both of them.

“You’ll give up smoking,” Tom had said.

“And you’ll give up drinking,” Tord had added.

And it was something that was meant to assuage both of their worries. Afterall, Tord knew Tom’s liver could only take so much poison, and Tom was anxious about Tord’s throat and lungs. It was for good reason, too. Tord had began getting a cough, and Tom had been suffering some stomach pain and general nausea. So a fresh start would be good for them.

“Just for a week,” they’d told themselves. They’d ease into it. If it was just a week, it wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

Tom scoffed at his past self on the first night. It was pathetic how much he felt the urge to just grab a bottle and let his worries, no, his mind dissipate. It was his go-to for soothing emotional turmoil, something that he couldn’t deny plagued more of his life than he wished. It was like a baby’s binky. It provided security, and it comforted him. And to be honest, he didn’t care if that was an unhealthy relationship… but Tord did.

Tord didn’t so much scoff at his past self as much as hate him. Within hours he was itching for a smoke, something that soothed his nerves in a way you’d never expect a stimulant to. It was something that cleared his mind and kept him calm. It was something that kept his anger at bay, something that he had begun to prioritize a lot more with Tom around. He didn’t want his favorite person to see him as an evil monster. He didn’t want Tom to see that side of him. But Tom didn’t want to see his favorite person die suffocating from smoke inhalation.

They both did their best to entertain the challenge, they did. But Tom was beginning to get shaky and sick to his stomach on the second day. He spent two hours hunched over the toilet, puking himself dry practically, and another hour unable to force himself to eat. It was on the fourth hour, when he began getting the worst migraine and hallucinations that petrified him that he gave in and grabbed the bottle, downing gulps of alcohol to try and get everything to stop. He put himself to bed early, avoiding getting caught for one more day as he tried his best to sleep off his regret and self-loathing.

Tord survived one more day, but he was angry throughout it. He didn’t awake Tom on the second day, not wanting the other to witness how irritable he was. He snacked with a vengeance, his appetite swelling to replace the loss of nicotine, but when he tried to join Tom and sleep off some of his anger, he found himself unable to fall asleep. He stared at the ceiling angrily most of the night. The next morning, when he was so exhausted he could barely function and his chest felt like it restricted him with each breath, he cracked, taking a smoke out on a walk so Tom hopefully wouldn’t notice. He purposefully grabbed a smokey-smelling hoodie on top of that to try and cover the scent. Tord managed to get away with it before he went to work.

It was pretty coincidental how they each found out about the other’s failure. Tom had said he’d be out, so Tord didn’t need to come home, but he stayed at home to indulge in his drink, hoping to keep himself sane and keep these symptoms at bay. As Tom had said he’d be gone, Tord walked in with a cigarette hanging out his lips. They both froze when they saw each other.

Tom broke first, bursting into drunken giggles as he shook his head, and Tord found himself joining in, sitting beside his man as he wrapped an arm around him, careful of his cigarette. He pulled Tom into a quick kiss, and they discussed how fucking  _ hard _ quitting was, even if it was for a week, and how coincidental it all was, and how maybe… maybe they should look into better options. But for now, Tord almost savored the flavor of vodka and cigarettes as they mixed on kisses. 


	18. The Void (poem- Tomtord)

Tord was in love with the void.

He didn't understand why, or how, but he knew he was.

Afterall, Tom was the physical embodiment of it.

He was sunken deep down into a depression that only left him with nothingness, he dug holes in his life that he knew would hinder him, but it didn't matter when he didn't care and drank himself dumb. He was a void. Devoid of meaning.

In fact to further exacerbate the extent of which the universe emphasized Tom's void status, he had voids for eyes, black holes that were endless.

But Tord loved it. He loved them. He loved Tom. And even if he could never fill the void within him he would stay by his side.


	19. Eddmatt: "People are jerks, but not you"

"People are jerks, but not you,” Edd said softly. Matt was laid in his lap, napping off a stressful night. Edd cursed the producer who’d made him stressed. He didn’t deserve any of it. Or, just maybe, Edd was so attached that he didn’t care if that was how the world worked. Either way, he wanted Matt to have better.  
Matt yawned, nuzzling into Edd’s legs a little more. He looked so innocent when he slept, so cute. And Matt was innocent, and in Edd’s opinion, cute. He wished he could protect him better, shelter him so that he didn’t have to face the cruelty of others. Matt was above that, and the world should treat him like such.  
But people were jerks.   
Edd sighed, leaning back further into the couch as he pet Matt’s head. He loved this man so much. He stayed like that for awhile, switching between gazing at the ceiling and Matt before he eventually nodded off.  
Matt woke up, still as comfortable as he had started in Edd’s lap. He looked up at his sweet face, and bit back a giggle at one of the snores. He sat up carefully, kissing Edd’s cheek.   
“People are jerks, but not you,” he whispered in his ear unprompted, gently giving his cheek a kiss again.


	20. Tomtord- "I can't get up"

Tom laid in his bed, staring at the wall forlornly as he sighed. He looked at the rest of his vodka on the table. There was only a few sips left, his reserve was low, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. He nuzzled into his blanket, sighing as he buried his face in the pillow. He couldn’t move. It was as though he was paralyzed. So he pulled out his phone and stayed.

That was dying too. But the charger had fallen from his bed. He resigned to browsing as long as he could, and once it died, he would force himself to sleep. 

But his resignation didn’t seem to matter. His bedroom door opened.

“Tom?” The Norwegian accent was Tord’s. 

Tom sighed.

Footsteps trailed to his bed. “I haven’t seen you. Where have you been?” He asked, moving in front of Tom. He could smell the alcohol on the other’s breath, but he didn’t care right now.

Tom chuckled. Where has he been? “Here, if you couldn’t guess,” he said, curling up, but he found himself staring at Tord. He couldn’t tell if it was out of laziness or mesmiration, but he just watched anyways.

“For how long?” Tord asked.

Tom shrugged, giving an awkward half smile.

“I was worried about you,” Tord asked. “Why have you been cooping yourself up in here?”

“I can’t get up,” Tom replied, shrugging as he watched Tord frown.

“What’s been going on?” Tord reached over, petting Tom’s shoulder.  
Tom sighed. “I don’t know, something’s been wrong with me,” he frowned.

“Depression?” Tord raised an eyebrow.

“I suppose.”

“And you’ve been drinking… have you eaten today?”

“I had one left over pop tart since it was on my nightstand,” Tom said, almost proudly.

“Do you think you can get up with my help?” Tord asked.

“Uhh…” Tom cringed. “I don’t want to,” he shook his head.

“Tom,” Tord said softly.

“Please?”

Tord looked in his eyes, sighing. “Do you have to go to the bathroom?”

“I’m fine.”

“You should go at least once today.”

Tom whined at that. “I don’t want to get up.”

“I know you don’t,” Tord’s tone was soft. “C’mon though, you don’t want to mess up your bed… Do you want me to carry you?”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Tom said, frowning. It was such a physical way to prove Tom dragged on Tord.

“I don’t care. Do you want me to? Would that help?” Tord pressed.

Tom looked away finally, sighing. “I- I don’t want to bother you.” Tom frowned.

Tord kissed his head. “You’re not a bother,” he picked him up anyways. “Here, you’ll go to the bathroom and I’ll get you food and we’ll lay in your bed together and talk and you’ll eat, okay?”

Tom thought about it for a second, leaning on Tord with a sigh. “Okay… Thanks.”

“Of course,” Tord said without a thought, though Tom couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved Tord didn’t mind helping him.


	21. Tomtord- "I wasn't supposed to get attached"

"I wasn't supposed to get attached,” Tord murmured to himself, staring at the man resting in his lap. He shook his head, a little smile on his face. “Maybe you’re the devil, sucking me into your world.”  
Tom yawned, nuzzling further into Tord’s legs.  
The Norwegian’s cheeks grew warm. “Or maybe not…” He stared at Tom, looking around the room as his cheeks warmed up. “I love you,” he confessed in pure secrecy.


	22. Tomtord: "I love you" "A horrible decision, really"

“I love you,” Tord said in passing, like it was a joke.

“A horrible decision that is, honestly, Tord,” Tom retorted, laughing.

That wasn’t a joke to Tord, though. “Why?” He asked.

“Because I’m a wreck,” Tom snickered, shaking his head. “I’ll drag you down.”

“No you won’t,” Tord insisted,

Tom chuckled awkwardly, shaking his head again. “You know me.”

“I do.”

“I’ll drag you down,” Tom insisted.

“What if I drag you up?” Tord asked.

“I’m too far down in the recesses of human scum,” Tom laughed.

Tord wished he could tear the jokes out of Tom’s mouth. He shook his head. “Tom, you’re wonderful.”

“Pffft,” he shook his head. “I’m not even close. I’m pretty good at mario kart though… and memes and drinking.”

“Tom,” Tord said seriously. “You are not scum. You are wonderful. And I love you.”

Tom felt ice go through his veins as he looked at Tord. “That’s… you’re making a mistake.”

“Let me prove to you I’m not,” Tord insisted.

Tom met his eyes, though it’s not like the Norwegian could completely tell. “I don’t need to bother you more.”

“I want you to bother me more.”

“Why?” Tom asked, exasperated.

“Because, Tom, I love you. I don’t- I know you can’t see why, but just give me a chance. Let me show you why.”

“Tord, I don’t want you to get screwed over by me.”

“Tom, I won’t. I promise. You don’t have to worry with me, okay?” Tord said, taking his hands. “ _Please_ ,” he pleaded.  
Tom stared at him, taking a breath. “Then promise me I won’t be a regret.”

“You never will be a regret, Tom. I promise,” Tord obliged seriously, staring in his eyes.

Tom’s shoulders slumped. “And this isn’t a prank?”

Tord shook his head, chuckling. 

Tom just stared at him, defeated. “I… I guess I’ll give you a shot then, if you really want it.”

A grin expanded on Tord’s face, and he couldn’t hold himself back from giving Tom a kiss on the cheek. “I won’t let you down.”

Tom gave him a tentative smile, praying he didn’t just make his own regret.


	23. Tomtord- Fear

The first time Tom looked at him with those eyes he was blinded by rage. The second, his heart shattered. He was trembling in Tord’s wake, and while he craved Tom thinking he was powerful, this wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to be powerful enough to protect him.

But tonight he’d been powerful enough to cause Tom’s destruction, and that’s what the man saw in him.

It was a strange thing to crush your own heart.

  
  


A few months came and went, and Tord would admit he hadn’t been the best to Tom. He still yelled. He still hit. He still fronted on him, making Tom shrink under him. But he’d been doing this to protect Tom, to keep them both safe. So it was worth it. 

_ And it was worth learning to steel himself against the terrified look of his lover. _


	24. Tomtord- Soft (poem)

Tom was something soft,

Contrasting perfectly with the hardened exterior Tord presented.

He was a soothing force,

Something that brought a sense of dullness and calmness.

And Tord would sacrifice anything to keep him that way.

Because he didn’t want Tom to have to harden himself,

To lose a part of himself,

Like Tord did.

 


	25. Tomtord- Zombie lovesong sonfic

“I don’t want to have a boring love story,” Tord said, rubbing Tom’s thigh.  
Tom snorted. “What the fuck does that mean?”  
“Have you ever thought about a zombie love story?”  
“You’re an idiot,” Tom laughed, kissing him. “Which of us is the zombie?” he asked, grinning as he leaned against Tord, listening to him tell his tale.


	26. Tomtord- songfic (Battlefield)

The war waged on around him

As Tom looked on, confused

How did love become a battle?

How did happy beginnings

Simple “I love you”s   
Become tears and screaming?

How did the man he trusted

The man he loved

The love of his life, or so he’d said

Become so vile and malicious?

How did the man he’d committed to

Use his every vulnerability against him

And yet turn to him with a smile the next day

As though he’d done nothing wrong?

Everything was a battlefield

And Tom was lost amongst it

Wondering if it was just better to submit

And be killed in the chaos


	27. Tomtord- Sadness (poem)

There had been sadness in his eyes for awhile

Longer than the liquor that had stained his lips

And made his kiss burn with vodka’s harshness.

But that was just it

It had been there for awhile,

So why would he choose today to try and drink himself into a coma?

It felt surreal to watch the man in front of him

To be able to hear his slurred words beg for his poison of choice

To experience what Tom was like when he finally came apart…

Maybe Tom was high functioning

And that had tried to be his demise.

But how high functioning is a man that drinks vodka like water?

And how high functioning is the man in front of him, crying that he’s not loved

Or he shouldn’t be loved.

Maybe it was surreal because Tord couldn’t handle it.

He’d known of Tom’s sadness

No matter how hard the man tried it seeped through the cracks in his broken heart

Even if it was while no one else watched.

So Tord didn’t have that excuse.

He just… he figured he was in denial of it all

And his friends were too.

He wondered how many nights Tom poisoned himself as they sat, willing their minds to be ignorant

He wondered how he could love him and be willing to blind himself to Tom’s suffering, thinking it would help.

Ignorance didn’t solve problems

Ignorance poisoned

And could Tord blame Tom for not believing he was loved

When they all ignored him and his problems?

His heart broke.


	28. Tomtord- Miss you

I miss you when I wake up

To the time I lose consciousness to my soothing sleep

My heart has been in ruins

Along with my everything

I know I’m disappointing

You’d agree if you were here

And though I try to hide it

I miss you; you were dear

I feel like I’ve been coming apart

I’m on a downwards swing

Or perhaps a spiral

Either way, it’s not letting up

And I know it’s not your problem

It’s just when you ask me what’s up

I know I’ll be disappointing

I’ll probably try and make this a song

A ballad to my growing depression

Not that it’s your problem

I don’t know what I’m doing

My head is swimming in circles

I can’t decide if I want you to stay or go

Because both options hurt a bit

And both options scare me

But I do know that while you were here

It kept my depression at bay just a little bit

And you gave me some semblance of hope

But my problems aren’t yours

At least not like they were

So I’ll carry them alone this time

Until my brain gives out

 

I guess I don’t know why I’m writing this

I’m not very good at poetry

I don’t think I should send you this

Yet my fingers itch to

To let you know

 

That’s the past creeping in, though

I’m trying my best to tell myself it’s not your problem

That you wouldn’t care

Or shouldn’t care

So maybe I should bury this   
And my feelings

And maybe my body

 

I’m losing hope anyways

And vodka isn’t a reason to live

As much as I would wish

I know people care about me

Or they say they do

They think about me at least

You say you care about me

You think of me

But that doesn’t fix my hope problem

 

Tom paled as Tord sent him his stupid writing. He was drunk when he wrote it, and he’d buried it.

‘Tom, are you okay?’ The text after it read. 

But all he could focus on was that he’d been betrayed by Edd or Matt.


	29. Tomtord- Seize the Day

Tom curled in on himself in the bed, feeling guiltier as he scrolled through his instagram. “Seize the day!” A thousand ads read, as though it were that easy. Tom  _ wished _ he could seize the day. More than a few times he felt like his life was wasting away, but with his depression it never quite came to fruition how he wished it would.

Tord sat beside him finally, the bed dipping and pulling Tom’s hips towards him so they rested against Tord’s. 

“Another rough day?” His lover asked, kissing his cheek.

Tom nodded, sighing as he sank his head into the bed, frustrated with himself.

“I’m sorry about that, hon,” Tord rubbed his back gently. “I love you.”

“I love you too…” Tom said automatically, sighing. “...Tord?” He asked eventually.

“Mmhm?”

“Is it bad that I can never seize the day?”

Tord melted a little. “You’re trying your best, and that’s what matters. Even if you’re like this,  you’re trying, and that counts as seizing the day. I love you,” he said, kissing Tom’s head. “Have you eaten?”

Tom shook his head.  
“I’ll be back soon,” Tord got up, patting Tom’s head affectionately before he left to go get his boyfriend some sustenance. 


	30. EddMatt: Eat

Edd watched Matt carefully, closely. He knew he wanted to be a model. He knew Matt had to be lithe, but he’d also watched how he’d look at his thighs. He watched how he’d push around food like it was poison. He watched him avoid it like the plague. And he was scared. He didn’t want to lose his beloved ginger.

Eventually enough become enough. Edd took action, something he was hesitant to do. He didn’t know if it was his place. Afterall, Matt still ate… but lately it seemed like he ate barely, and he avoided mealtimes with Edd. So he made him a dinner. It was healthy, chock full of nutrition. He didn’t want Matt thinking he was trying to fatten him up or anything. He set it on the table, and  _ waited _ , knowing Matt would be home any minute.

The second Matt walked through the door, though, he paled, and Edd knew this was a problem.

“Come eat, Matt,” Edd said, going closer.

Matt backed up, looking around. He gave a nervous smile, avoiding eye contact. “I had a late lunch.”

“And now it’s suppertime… come eat with me,” Edd took his hand, bringing him closer.

“I’m not that hungry,” Matt said nervously.

Edd turned, locking eyes with Matt. “I’m worried about you. It’s like you’re starving yourself…  _ eat _ ,” he demanded.

Matt looked down. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“I need to lose weight,” Matt said finally.

“Starving yourself won’t do it. Matt, you’re already so thin, why do you think you need to lose weight?”

“The modelling agency told me I needed to, Edd.”

Edd had always thought the white hot anger that blinded you was fake, made up for movie screens. That was, until that night. He’d never seen a manager so terrified, and he felt no remorse. 


	31. EddMatt: Friends with Benefits

It had started with a kiss. Just a simple kiss. Matt had been staring in his eyes, telling him all this mushy crap about how Edd made him happy. Edd looked at his lips, and Matt asked Edd if he had made Edd happy too. Edd nodded. Of course, they were good friends, and within the second Matt’s lips were on his.

And honestly, Matt’s kisses were as good as his looks, so Edd kissed him back, cupping the ginger’s face as he drew him closer. He revelled in the affection, finding it amusing how someone so… attractive could be invested in him.

Of course, though, Matt tried to complicate things. The next day he began at breakfast.

“So, Edd, we haven’t made anything technically official…” he’d begun.

Edd looked at his plate. “I don’t think we need to put a label on it, do you?” He’d replied.

Matt quieted down, looking at his own. He stayed quiet for a few moments, before getting up with it. “I need to think.”

Edd let him go. He cared about Matt, just… not like that. And if he’d followed him it would only send the wrong message.

That night, though, everything proved to be okay. Matt came home from work, asserting himself in Edd’s lap as he began to kiss him again, and Edd revelled in those lips, letting his world go hazy.

If he had known Matt was just trying to win him over he would’ve stopped him. If Matt had known that Edd really wasn’t interested, he would’ve stopped before he grew more attached.

But since neither knew, the resulting blow up was volatile. It was fierce and harsh and hurtful, and Edd watched bitterly as Matt packed a crappy bag and stormed out.

It wasn’t his fault the ginger loved him, and who could blame him for just wanting a friendship with benefits? He didn’t go behind Matt’s back to try and change his mind at least...


	32. Matt/Tord and Edd/Matt: "You've taken him back? You can't be serious!"

_ "You've taken him back? You can't be serious!" _

Matt flinched away from the phone, shame rising in his gut. “He’s changed, Edd.”

“That doesn’t matter! He still hurt you! How can you just trust him again? How can you go back to that?” And how could he choose that over… well, over Edd! It was frustrating… and it hurt. Edd had been there for Matt through thick and thin, and through Tord ruining him. How could he just go back?

It was like a slap in the face. It was like Edd had fixed Matt only for Tord to take him back and ruin him again. 

But most of all, Edd was  _ terrified _ .

“I told you, Edd, he’s changed. We both have… I know you’re hesitant- and trust me, I was too, but… I think this could work.”

Edd pressed his lips together into a thin line, biting back tears and frustration. “I see… well… I hope it does work out… but, I can’t do this if you’re going to date him again.”

Matt panicked. “Can’t do what?”

“I can’t talk to you anymore, Matt,” Edd said, taking a shaky breath. “So, good bye,” he hung up.

Matt stared at his phone in pure disbelief. He’d always turned to Edd to share in his deepest losses and greatest victories. He’d been with him through it all. What happened now? He tried to quiet the tidal wave of emotions that stirred in his heart, but tears rained down on his cheeks as he cried out his betrayal.

Tord came in, going over. “Matt, what’s wrong?” He asked, squeezing his shoulder. “Are you okay?” He pulled him into a hug, taking over the job Edd had forfeited.

_ At least Matt still had someone. _


	33. Tomtord- Lemon Eyes Songfic

“Tom,” Tord addressed, sitting beside his blue-hoodied best friend as he took another swig.

Tom hesitated. He hated when Tord caught him drinking. He always made him feel guilty for it, and though it was justified he didn’t always want to feel judged when he indulged in the drunken emotionlessness. 

“Tord,” he returned, his voice callous to try and hide his insecurity.

“How much have you had?” Tord asked softly, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Tom sighed. “I don’t even know,” he chuckled, unwrapping the paper bag from his Smirnoff. “I’m only down a quarter.”

“Thompson,” Tord admonished. “You know, it’s almost as though you’re drinking through someone else’s pain, too at this point,” he said softly. He rubbed his shoulder. “This isn’t the way to get rid of your pain, you know?”

“It does though,” he heard his voice slur and knew that didn’t help his case. 

“I know, but it’s gonna kill you.”

Tom curled in on himself. “I don’t care,” he whispered, half hoping Tord didn’t hear.

Tord frowned, holding him closer. “I do…” He kissed his head. “How about we try something else then?” He said softly.

Tom hesitated. “Like what?”

“Counselling?” Tord said. “I’d be with you, I’d help you… I just… Tom, the world needs you in it.”

Tom frowned. “I don’t know…” He said, going to take a swig.

Tord took the alcohol, getting a glare.

“I’ll think about it,” Tom sighed.

“Thank you,” Tord murmured, hugging him tight.

 


	34. Tomtord: “I don’t really feel like I can handle anything lately."

“I don’t really feel like I can handle anything lately, Tord,” Tom began, before he sighed. “Well, anything apart from just coasting. I can be a stupid coasting idiot all I want,” he grumbled to himself, frustrated by his own limitations. He knew that they were self imposed, but that didn’t make them less real.

Tord wrapped his arm around Tom, holding him close. “I see…” He squeezed him gently.

Tom teared up. “And I feel like I’m dragging you all down with me because I can’t do what I should,” he elaborated, wiping at his eyes. 

“You’re not dragging me down, Tom,” Tord said softly. “And I don’t think you’re dragging Matt and Edd down either… it’s okay to feel bad, y’know?”

Tom sighed. “I know, but I’ve felt bad for so long… it’s just- I know people go through phases, but when is this shit going to end? What’s the point if I’m always like this? I’ll just- It’s ridiculous. And no one should have to deal with it.”

Tord gently took his hands. “But I  _ want _ to deal with it, Tom. I  _ want _ you to be happy… and, even if it’s selfish, I want to wake up to have more days with you by my side… you’re my best friend.”


	35. EddMatt: Addicted to you

“Edd, I think I’m addicted to you,” Matt giggled, blushing softly.

Edd flushed. “Addicted?”

“Mmhm, I never want you to leave, ever,” he nuzzled  _ his _ Edd. 

Edd chuckled uneasily. “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t want to follow me in the bathroom or anything.” He said awkwardly.

Matt shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind, we all use the bathroom.”

_ What the fuck? _ “Well, haha, usually we use that  _ alone _ .”

“Yeah,” Matt shrugged. “But it wouldn’t take that long… You just make me feel so good, Edd,” Matt met his eyes.

Edd shivered. “Do I?” He said awkwardly. “Well isn’t that nice…” Everything in his body said for him to  _ run _ . But he couldn’t. He couldn’t just leave Matt… he loved him.

And Matt loved him too… just too much.


	36. Tomtord- "Do you ever think we should just stop doing this?"

_ "Do you ever think we should just stop doing this?" _ Tom asked, looking over to Tord as they relaxed post-coitus.

Tord glanced over. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, it’s not like we can be together,” Tom said, raising an eyebrow.

Tord felt that dread settling in his gut. Everything about him and Matt seemed to come back and bite him. It was like he could never live it down. He’d always be that abusive monster. But… Tom did have a point. If Edd and Matt found out about this they’d leave Tom before the bassist could even say a word.

And honestly, Tom didn’t deserve that. And Tord didn’t want Tom to suffer for his mistakes, either.

“So?” Tord responded, ignoring the urge to wrap and arm around Tom and pull him close. 

“So this is dangerous, Tord…” Tom said.

Tord couldn’t help but agree in his head. Lately he’d found himself looking forward to Tom’s visits, not just for the sex, but for the fact that he found the man enjoyable to be around. And lately he’d been thinking about Tom, almost mentally doting on him.

But the thought of losing Tom terrified him.

“Tom, no one’s going to find out about this,” Tord vowed.

Tom frowned. “You can’t be sure.”

“Tom, I will do everything in my power… besides, we haven’t been caught yet,” Tord gave a half smile.

Tom sighed. This was a lot… and as much as he enjoyed the sex, he was starting to enjoy Tord himself too much too. And that just couldn’t happen. 

But still he found himself not wanting to lose the devil-haired man. Still he found himself putting hope and faith into Tord, even if he’d done awful shit in the past. And so he had difficulty weighing these things… because if he wasn’t caught, did it matter?

Tord finally committed, turning his body and wrapping an arm around Tom. “We should sleep anyways. We can think in the morning, okay?” Tord convinced.

But honestly he wished they both would just forget about the “problem.”


	37. Tomtord- Numb

“You know, the only safe, comforting place to be is when I’m numb…” Tom said thoughtfully, staring out the window.  
Tord wrapped his arm around Tom’s waist, turning to look at his face. “Why do you say that?” He asked. Tom was deep when he wasn’t drunk… but that didn’t take away his sadness.

“It’s just something I noticed. I like being numb… It protects me from the bad, y’know?”

“But doesn’t it dull the good?” Tord challenged.

“Probably, but when there’s more demons than angels you may as well kill some good to survive,” Tom murmured.

Tord gave him a squeeze, kissing his head. “I love you, Tom.”

He knew he did… And he loved Tord, but he’d produced this state of numbness in his heart that convinced him not to return the sentiment. After all, he may be wrong, right? He sighed, resigning himself to just nodding.


	38. Tomtord- "You're here."

“You’re here,” Tom said, looking at the window with wide, tear-filled eyes. A bottle of vodka lied on his desk, but it was too empty to spill.

Tord took a shaky breath, crawling in. He immediately took Tom’s face, cupping it and wiping away the tears. “I was so scared,” he said, pulling Tom against his chest protectively. He thought he had lost him. And Tord wouldn’t know what he would do if he’d lost Tom.

Tom let out a little whimper, wiping at his eyes. He didn’t know if he wanted Tord to catch him or not, but perhaps if he had messaged him it was a last ditch prayer to live. Perhaps it was one last chance for the world… at least for tonight. He was torn between needing the comfort and kicking himself for not just going through with it and revelling in the emptiness of death. 

After all, in his life just escaping the misery was valuable enough to end it all.

But now Tord was here, and for some reason he was muttering Norwegian as he held him, and he seemed really upset. Tom almost didn’t understand. Because he supposed people cared about him, but… well, in his mind it wasn’t that big of a deal. Nothing to be in hysterics about. He was going to pass some time anyway. Why did it matter how soon it was?

But Tord obviously didn’t see it that way. And as Tord held him and pet his hair and seemed to revel in just the fact that Tom was sitting and breathing in front of him, he couldn’t help but wonder why his life was so precious here. When he’s alone he doesn’t feel that way, but here Tord was looking at him like he held a key to his happiness, like he was someone he couldn’t live without, like he was so undeniably precious… and Tom was just… well, miserable old Tom. It was almost disorienting, being looked at like he was coveted.

And it was scary. Because while part of Tom wanted this and wanted to reach out, the other part dreaded to make a ripple. Because that part of Tom believed he would die soon. And that part believed it would be of his own volition… and he didn’t want to hurt Tord- or anyone. Part of him wished he could just disappear and no one would care. 

But the fact of the matter was that Tord was affected, and the thought brought tears to Tom’s eyes. He did have an impact, even if he didn't want one. And even if he didn’t want to live, someone would be devastated  if he wasn’t here, so he should try. 

And so (at least for now) Tom decided he would try and side with the part of him that wanted to be loved and taken care of and precious and supported. He would try and lean on Tord, even if it was a lot. And hopefully Tord would be okay… and maybe even himself. Hopefully that support would make him okay. He supposed (at least for now) that it was worth a try.


	39. Tom: Paradise Songfic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as an FYI, I am totally understanding as an author how difficult addiction can be and that it makes decisions extremely difficult, if not feeling impossible at times. I have no judgment against people with addictions, but for the sake of the story I wanted it to weigh on Tom to feel like a personal shortcoming rather than a complicated situation and illness.

Tom was supposed to be in paradise. Away, on a vacation, with his family. But his demons followed him, and he found himself craving his liquor, which dragged him down into a slump. But if he didn’t take it, he’d be left with splitting headaches, a raging temper, and a sickness that went through his core. In short, he was stuck between two bad options, and his addiction figured that soothing the temporary pleasure made it the best option of them. 

He bit back and hid how much he hated himself for succumbing to this mistake over and over and over. He bit back his shame daily, trying to pretend that he didn’t know his drinking was ruining everything. He hated that paradise was still synonymous with war, and that he couldn’t run. And he hated himself for that, because he knew it was his decisions that brought him there.


End file.
